How to give a Hedgehog a manicure...and 7 other things I wish I didn't know.

There comes a time in every nanny's day when she stops and says..."Why in the World am I doing this??"

"This" takes the place of many things. There's the obvious: "why am I taking care of other people's children-this" and then the not so obvious "why am I trying to explain to the mechanic how two five year olds managed to dump (approximately) 45 marbles into a gas tank without me noticing-this"...

Most of my moments of "why this" are found in the not so obvious category.

Why this #1:  Frank the hedgehog is a particularly ornery member of the category of spiny mammals of the subfamily Erinaceinae and the order Erinaceomorpha.  He resides at 703 West Avenue in a wire cage decorated with 17 glitter care bear stickers, 6 army men, and 3 year old tri-colored macaroni necklaces.  I would be ornery too.  

Now Frank is particularly precarious pet for 7 small children.  [Of course so is a four foot reticulated python-but we can tell-- I certainly don't pick the pets.]  

One day some of the children had Frank out for a spin in the plastic ball of doom (named so by me after the guinea pig/stairs incident...that was a dark day) and as they toured the downstairs living room I noticed a persistent clicky scratchy sound from the pbd (plastic ball of doom) and then...strange silence punctuated by a soft click every couple of seconds. Now I'm sure a certain number of clicks and scratches is to be expected from an animal completely covered in spiny quills that has been placed in a plastic ball and rolled around a hardwood floor.  But consistency in sound is so important with this many child handlers...when the noise stops you know there is trouble afoot. 

Sure enough poor Frank had become so terrified that he had dug into the plastic ball of doom with all his little claws and was now suspended upside down mid roll over....all quills out.  He looked like the spiky nucleus of some strange and foreign atom.

How does one extract a pissed hedgehog that is embedded in plastic? (besides the obvious answer "carefully" I was out of my element) I shooed the handlers outside and placed the ball-Frank still suspended-in his cage.  I thought maybe he'd calm down in a few and un-stick himself.  No such luck.  Four hours later I loaded up 7 children and one-still petrified and stuck-hedgehog into the car and headed for the vets. 

They managed to extract poor Frank.  The vet recommended that we trim his nails before letting him roll around in the pbd.  

And how does one give a hedgehog a mani/pedi...

Turns out you gently turn the cage over until their little legs hang out the top-and presto...you clip the tiny toes as they chill.

The other six incidents to follow....